Happy New Years, folks!
I generally dislike New Years resolutions; they are so rarely kept. However, I try my damnedest to always embrace change and discomfort, and I’ve done better with that in recent years. These last few weeks leading up to the New Year, however, have shown me that I have not done such a fabulous job with that. I fucking failed at it. Sweet failure, in which we gain these insights.
The day my failings hit me, I was feeling pretty destroyed, but that night I went to sleep and dreamt of Omar Rodriguez-Lopez. It was a great dream! He played the smallest of of venues to a spare few fans and his family members. Later in the evening he ended up behind this bar that was all neon lights and mirrors, everything else fading to black around the edges, the rest of the venue disappeared. We all sat on the bar stools as he went back and forth talking to us, playing his guitar occasionally, and then he made something for each of us. For me he rolled the most amazingly perfect joint I have ever seen, which I graciously accepted (although I do not smoke). I put it away in my bag, and when I woke up in the morning the first thing I did was look for that joint, but it was not there. I’m not sure I’ve woken up expecting a dream to manifest in real life like that since I was a kid. That morning, the biggest disappointment was not the sickening feeling that I had, once again, wasted my time on someone, but that this joint, which I had no interest in smoking, was nowhere to be found in my purse. Life is good.
What does this have to do with anything? Nothing, maybe. Except I will say that this year I set no neat little list of goals, only this general one: that I must focus more on myself and my friends; my dreams and my projects come first. Support others, always, but only the ones who have your back as well.
Till next time…keep being awesome, read books, listen to music, and eat pasta!